I volunteered at an animal shelter yesterday and while I was hosing down the dozenth dirty dog kennel I thought to myself “why am I doing this without pay again?” and then I walked into the room with like 15 kittens in it and they all started meowing at me and I was like, yes, that’s why
So no matter what I do, hooray for me because I’m a great guy? It’s all good? No matter how many dogs I kill, I just do an inventory and accept?
I’ve put together a simple chart that explains the various ways you should and shouldn’t summon a waiter over to your table, and the service you’re likely to receive accordingly.
Because if one more middle aged, obnoxious asshole goes “hey you!” and snaps their fingers at me, I WILL snap said person’s neck.
I waitressed my way through college and one night this guy yells at me “Oi! you with the tits!” and my co-worker Matthew walked up to him and said “yes?”
that story. lol
And then the magical traveling circus of scholastic would randomly show up
at the motherfucking BOOK FAIR
seriously the best ever.
This was actually my childhood.
Wish they had these I high school
YES SAURON, LORD OF MORDOR, WILL HAVE THE HERB CRUSTED SALMON FILET PLEASE.
AND THIS IS SAURON’S CHEAT DAY SO SAURON WILL TREAT HIMSELF TO THE CHOCOLATE RASPBERRY TRUFFLE CHEESECAKE.
SAURON DESERVES IT.
My Fairy tale of the little Mermaid